Holy Gabbana | Prison, Drive-by Shootings, and Finding Jesus

Even when I was living at a boonk gang, God was still like, that's my boy because he God see the end. You know what I'm saying? Like, us, we see now, but God, he know the beginning from the end and everything in between. I never knew I would become who I am now or even walking in my faith as strong as I am now. I never seen this, but God, he seen this, and I even wow myself today.

Every day I wake up, I don't even feel the same right. Am I the same person? You're listening to the Provoke and Inspire podcast. Alright, man. Well, here we go.

Today, we have the privilege of being joined by John Gabbana, AKA Holy Gabbana, Instagram star turned rapper. He's released multiple solo songs and albums. He has since started a Christian hip hop career and also a boxing career. He released his first Christian single as the Christian musician Holy Flow in August 2022. John or Holy, whatever you would prefer, thank you so much for being here with us today.

Oh, yeah. Thank y'all for having me. Yeah. I I I made a decision because I I really don't be doing interviews like that. But then I'm like, because I I know that how I have a impactful story, for me, it's all about doing the will of God.

So when I see y'all reach out, I'm like, well, any any chance that I get to to share my testimony, I'm a just, you know, share my testimony. So Well, thank you. Man, that that's so encouraging. And and on that note, that's what we wanna talk about, man. I like I said, I watched a lot of your stuff before we we joined in today, and, also, we've been tracking along the way in your journey.

But can you just share your background, how you came to Jesus? It's I know there's a lot of layers to it, and so we can just go through it as it happens, but I'd love to hear that from you. Yeah. Hey. Today is actually, two years since I've been in my faith.

Nice. Congrats. Wow. Appreciate it. February 15, two years ago, I would've baptized.

Yeah. But how, actually all started starting from the beginning. When I was a child, my mom, she actually she taught me to believe in Jesus. But the only thing is, like, I tell everybody the way she taught me, it wasn't it wasn't, like, the love of Jesus. It was just to believe and to be scared of.

So but it's like, now that I've grown and I've been walking with God on my own, I've understood, you know, yeah, we're supposed to have reverence with that fear, that reverence spirit because, you know, God says, fear the Lord is wisdom is wise. You know? But at the same time, I understand that God is love. But when I was growing up, I didn't I didn't really understand that. I just knew to be scared of him, and I didn't even know I was supposed to live my life for him.

But, so after just, like, in my teenage years getting in trouble doing my own thing, I wasn't focused on God at all. But, see, twenty seventeen, you know, I grew up at Boonk Gang, and then for, like, a year, in my interviews with Boonk Gang, I told people, like, I really don't even wanna make videos like this, and I don't wanna live this lifestyle. I just wanna do this, to get on with my music because, like, I I went through a lot as a kid. Like, my stepdad raised me. No dad.

He was in prison and stuff like that. I barely saw him, you know, raised in an abusive home. Like, we used to dumpster dive, like, getting food out in the dumpsters and stuff. My mom, she wasn't we weren't necessarily poor, but we didn't I didn't have the best childhood. So, as Boop gang, I told people, like, man, this is just for me to get on to my music so I could share what I went through as my child.

But in that host like, in that whole Boop gang era, I got lost into playing that character. I went into, like, a place where I wouldn't live my life no more. But I went to jail. I went to jail in 2038. I I believe it was 2018.

I was facing, like, three years. I had a hit and run, narcotics. I'm, like, I had three gun charges. So I had three gun charges, a hit and run, and then some drug charges. And, it's on it's on, like, my mixtapes is, like, boot gang facing three years in prison time or something like that.

But God even had grace on me again because I ended up just doing two I got sentenced five months and I ended up doing two months. But in that time of me doing two months, my cellmate who, like, who planted Jesus, like, really planted that in me, he was ministering to me the whole time I'm locked. Sorry. Can I interrupt you really quick? The first time that your cellmate said anything about Jesus, what was your first reaction to to him?

Okay. So after I got sentenced, I isolated for, like, a week. I was a a single mirror cell for, like, a week. And the cell is so small, and it was driving me crazy because it's just it's not I had no TV, no nothing. I'm just in that cell.

And then we didn't we even shower, like, we shower, like, every other day. I was, I was a little nervous, but they isolated me because when I had in there I mean, when I came in there, everybody knew who I was. And they like, oh, so he's famous, so we need to put him on his stuff and stuff like that. But after being in there a week, I made a complaint and I'm like, hey. Y'all need to move me.

So they said they interviewed me and was like, do I fear for my life and stuff like that? I'm like, no. I'm good. I'm good. So, they moved me within, like, a hour.

Then when I first walked in, my cellmate, he sized me up and he's like, where you from? Because I got tattoos everywhere. And I'm from Florida, but people out there in LA who got tattoos, they ain't gangs and stuff like that. So he's like, where you from? And I'm like, I'm from Florida.

He like, oh, okay. My bad for sizing you up like that. I'm just trying to, you know, fill out where you from and stuff like that. I'm like, nah. You good.

He was a older dude. He is a older dude. But he, like, then, like, five minutes later, his next question was, do you believe in Jesus? I'm like I'm like, yeah. Yes, sir.

I believe in Jesus. He like, okay. Okay. Cool. And then ever since then, he was just, it's just cool.

It's just, that was his, his, he asked me two questions. Where you from? And do you believe in Jesus? And he was in there for a murder. He didn't murder nobody, but he was he was involved in a robbery where somebody died.

Mhmm. So he, you know, that was his charges in there. I did, like, a month and a half with him before they moved us. But during that month and a half, he was ministering to me. And, you know, I was just in there just, wow, just like big eyed, just, wow, just saying about the stories of Jesus.

I kept asking them questions, asking them questions. I still got all my jail notes, so I was just writing, just writing, just taking notes and all that. And this was like four years ago. I still got my notes. And then, you know, it got to a point where it was like, alright, John.

Look. Here's the Bible. You need to start reading it for yourself. Because I I guess I was annoying him or something like that. But, you know, just like, hey.

Here. Just read it for yourself. And then I'll read it. And it was just so hard for me to read the Bible, but now it's it's like when I read the Bible, this is interesting. I could read it now.

But then it was hard. I didn't really understand it. So one night, this is like where things got not where I fully committed my life to God, but this is where things got real for me. One night I was, I was just in my bunk. It was nighttime.

It was bedtime. You know. Then I was still trying to find myself. And I remember telling myself, God, can you just help me find myself? Find help me find who I am in music and all this.

I'm like, God, look, I can sing for you. And I'm like, Jesus loves you for he died on the cross for our sins. He's always with you from beginning to the end. But I was singing, I was like, Jesus loves you. And I was singing that, and I was singing that.

And then when I laid down, like, I felt overwhelmed. Like, I felt sad. I don't I I really can't explain why I was sad, but I felt just so overwhelmed with sadness. And so I laid it down, and when I laid it down, I started crying, but I probably went crying for, like, a minute. And I felt this I felt this now I could say holy spirit, but how it felt to me, then I said I I felt something just come over me.

And it was it was a touch that was so real. I had to keep my eyes closed because I knew it was something spiritual. And there's only two people in the cell, me and my cellmate, and he in the bed asleep. And I know something is touching, but I can feel it. And I I just kept my eyes closed.

And I I embraced it, and I just I just laid down the stat and then immediately, like, my sadness went away. And I felt joy. I felt happy. And it's a joy that I really can't explain. I just I just felt joy.

And when that touch went away, I immediately hopped off my bunk, and I woke I woke. I said, Josh, Josh, Josh. I said, man, wake up. I said, look. I was crying.

Look. I had tears on my face. I'm like, Josh. Look. I'm crying.

I was singing to Jesus, but something came over me. I said, I don't know what it is. I couldn't even explain that. I said, something came over me. And then he just like, yeah.

You I mean, that was the Holy Spirit. He told me he had an encounter with the holy spirit. And see, I could I could say that now, but then I'm like something. And I I really couldn't explain it because I never had an encounter like that before. I never had something spiritually just come over me and and and take sadness like, take my sadness away, and it was so real.

So after that, like, I always that always stayed in my mind that I had an encounter with the holy spirit. But even then, when I got to jail, I didn't even I still ain't live my life for God. Like, all that stuff went out the window because I was so happy. I'm I'm out. I'm free.

You know? I'm trying to get back to doing what I was doing. How long were you in for? Two months. It went from three years to a year and a half to a year.

And then the day when I turned myself in, I was expecting to go in for six months. But my my lawyer, he let me talk to the DA. And then when I talked to the DA, I'm like, look, ma'am. I'm not who I used to be. I'm trying to change my life.

I'm doing this and that. And then after I talked to him, when I went in front of the judge, they said five months. And I'm like, oh, bet. And then so I'm in there I'm I'm in there doing time. I only did two.

So I'm like, during that whole situation. But even then, see, I I believe that that was God ordained because I could have went to jail at any time, but I went to jail at that time. I could have had any cellmate. Mhmm. But I had cellmate who was pouring Jesus into me.

So I even feel like even then that was God ordained. And, I I told the uncle Reese, he told he told me, like, even when I was living at his boot gang, you know, God was still, like, that's my son. That's my boy. Because he God see the end. You know what I'm saying?

Like, us, we see now. But God, he know the beginning from the end and everything in between. Like, I never knew I would become who I am now or become even, like, even walking in my faith as strong as I am now. I never seen this, but I understand that God, he see he seen this, and I and I even wow myself today. Every day I wake up, I'm like, I don't even feel the same.

Am I the same person? I don't I don't I don't feel the same. But when I got out, like I said, everything went out the window, but I never forgot that I had that encounter. That's something that I can never forget. Where I really, like, said, okay.

This is it. And I gave I gave everything to God, and it helped me get to who I am now and become and I'm well, I'm starting to just to even grow and elevate. So two years ago, like, right before I got baptized, I have a brother. He, he's not my blood brother. He's a friend, but he was serving.

And when he was serving, he got set up. So he has some dyke in the car. The dyke like, hey. I got somebody else who wanna buy some drugs from me. He like, okay.

Go get them. So when he get out the when she get out the car, some other dude come and just shoot up his car. Just shoot it up. And he he drives off. He he my homie drives off.

And when he drives, he said he just seen blood just gushing out his body, and he knew that he was dying. So what he did was he called his mom. He said, mom, I'm sorry, but I'm dying. And his mom, like, call him Jesus, boy. You better call him Jesus.

And he he still have the recording to the to this day. So he, he his mom, like, call him Jesus. Call him Jesus. His mom is a real church woman, and she planted that seed in him to call on Jesus. So as blood just gushing out gushing out, he say his arm was bent back, and he said he couldn't even look down no more.

He just said, oh, god. He get out his car. He tried to walk to the house, to the nearest house, but he couldn't walk. He fall on his knees. When he fall on his knees, he say he start hallucinating.

And he see his mama and his older brother on his side. He said, mama, dick, is that y'all? And then he said, god, forgive the shooter and forgive me for my sins. And then immediately he just he had a out of body experience. He died.

He was actually pronounced dead. But, you know, when, when we talking to humans other humans, we're like, you know, he had told me he had a out of body experience. But he had from me, you know, he saw what was next what was after in the spiritual. He saw what was in the spiritual. And they called the doctors called him a miracle baby.

When he came back into his body, all the doctors freaked out and they ran. They didn't they couldn't understand it. They ran. But just for me to know somebody who was close to somebody to come back into his body and tell me that, hey. Jesus is real.

Tell me what he saw in the spiritual. Man, I'm like, alright. This is it. And then it confirmed what I went through because even though my cellmate said, hey. Yeah.

You just encountered the Holy Spirit. I still couldn't even explain it for myself. So me in jail was that first seed being planted. Then secondly, my bro, that was it. And then I'm like, alright.

Cool. So I'm just about to give I'm about to give everything to Jesus. Yeah. In your, in other places, I've heard you give your testimony. You talk about the season when you kinda maybe got pulled into the new age a little bit.

And I feel like that's a huge important part of your story because I think you had this encounter, and then these lies came in and kinda robbed you for a little season. Can you talk about that a little bit? So after I got out of jail, like I said, I had the encounter stuck in my mind, but I I chose to live a different life. Like, not to follow God, but to follow the world. So, I was really low on money, and I tried to research, like, how to attract money.

The YouTube, it took me to it took me to, like, how to manifest money and attract money and all that new age religion stuff. So I started following it. And what I've learned from that, it says God is not real. God is the energy waves in the universe. It says Jesus is not the son of God, but actually the son as you win.

And it it don't teach us to that don't teach you to pray. It's it teach you to to praise your ancestors and all that. And I was following that, and what I now that I'm in Christ, what I've learned that that makes you believe that you're your own god, tell you to reach your higher self and all that. And see, god, he tell us to deny ourself, you know, is less of us, more of him. But that teaches you it's all about I, I, I, I, I.

And so I was, like, following that. Where I was lost was it it tell us to worship, to, pray to, not pray, but do rituals and to give thanks to our ancestors and stuff like that. But I'm like, I had an encounter when I was in jail. So maybe that wasn't the holy spirit, but maybe that was one of my ancestors or something. So I'm thinking of, like, my grandma who died and, like, sunlight.

I'm like, maybe that was left something like that. That took my faith from God, like, all the way down because, like I said, I was I I I low key got deep into that, but I stopped at, like, at, like, the ritual part because I I never get to doing that, but I was I was a little iffy on that because I always just knew to pray. But, right, like, right before I got too deep into that is when I ran into my bro's encounter When he was sharing his testimony with me, like, I'm just in awe. And I'm like, so Jesus is real. Because like I say, the new age religion had them brought my had them brought my faith all the way down.

And it taught it taught me Jesus is not real real, but Jesus is the sun, the s u n sun that they talk about, and God ain't real. So when he's telling me his with his story his testimony, I'm like, so God is real. And he's probably not even know why I'm, like, in such a shock because this whole time, like, the enemy almost had me believe that I didn't encounter the holy spirit when I was in jail. Like, that was like an ancestor and stuff. Like, it was starting to make me question all that that happened, But but it was, like, it was a moment that was it was so real to me.

Like, the enemy was was confusing me. So when my bro is sharing his testimony with me, I'm like, after I soak everything up, like, I went upstairs and prayed that night. I'm like, god. Like, my faith is like this. Like, I barely believe, but I like, I'm sorry.

Please come into my heart and and just, like, I repented that night and just asked him to, like, come into my heart because my faith was like this. But as I start growing in God, like, I start saying the lies in the new age religion. And then, but that's, like, that I'm big on, sharing that because it it almost had me. And I know a lot of other people who who bind to them lies. Wow.

I think, John, one of the I've been following you on Instagram for a long time, and, I don't I have no idea how I found you. I just somehow found you, and I and I like, years ago. And I would like the the post, and I'm like, man, this guy like, there's something there's something unique about this guy even though I didn't really know much of your story then. But Right. Then I would just kinda, like, have been watching over several years.

And the one thing that I began noticing, not that long ago is that, well, one, you had completely cleaned out Instagram with the exception of newer, material. But there was, like, such an odd what I would call a holy glow. Like, every post I would see of yours, it was like, dude, this dude is inspired. Like, I can just see it. I could just see the presence of God coming through you.

And then, of course, like, the words you were saying, but just it it was just like the sweetness of God's presence. And, so I wanted to to encourage you with that, that it it's so obvious from someone who's been watching from a distance and just the transformation that's taking place of of God moving in your life. One of you've said many things in the last season that have that have resonated with me, but one of the ones that I've really found my self struggling with is the idea of, do I wanna please God or do I wanna please man? And I think that a lot of people right now are dealing with, who are we gonna please? So I've heard you talk about that.

I wonder I wondered if you could share a little more about what that's been like for you of that process. Yeah. I know when I, when I first gave my life to Christ, there was some things that I was battling with, like smoking, like boxing when I started boxing. It's it's certain things that, you know, I had well, I'm like, the world look at this this way, and, you know, god look at it this well, I tried to, like I really didn't know. But, I don't I mean, I don't smoke no more.

I was gonna ask you because some of the some of the videos from the past that were that because I I used to smoke a lot too back in the day, and it's not been something that's recent, but it's still something that I I still have a lot of friends that that do or that are in that world. Yeah. Me too. And I remember watching videos where you were, like, smoking and then reading through the Bible and, like, this is so inspiring. And and I just remember kinda laughing, like like, yeah.

This is, like, this is kinda funny, but but I wondered, you know, like, is that was that, like, the flesh or so, yeah, I was I'm glad you brought it up because I didn't wanna be. I also didn't wanna come across as judgmental, you know, or, like, anything other than an encouragement to you. But, yeah, I'd I'd love to hear whatever you're willing to share. Yeah. I don't smoke anymore just because, like, when I started, like, getting heavy in the gym and boxing and stuff, all that's it just it takes away from, like, my breath and all that.

So I just put it aside. But I still, like, have, I have brothers who in the Christ who I love who still smoke. So I don't, I don't judge them. And in situations like that, I really believe that, you know, if you say, then you don't have conviction. And if you're facing conviction of it, then, you know, the Holy Spirit gonna let you know when to let go of something.

Yeah. Yeah. You know? So, you know, like I said, I gave my reason why I don't. But other than that, like, because stuff like that is so controversial, I decided to, like, when I'm in, like, unless I'm talking to, like, a friend one on one Mhmm.

Or if I'm in, like, a big arena, I just decided, like, not even touching that topic because that stuff would be so controversial. Right. Yeah. True. On back to, like, being, about pleasing God and pleasing man, you know, when, Paul in the word, Paul says, if we live to please men, then we're not a servant of Christ.

So, you know, that really, that really helped me out. And then another thing is, like, after my encounter with Christ and after I made the decision, like, after my brochure his testimony with me, and he just showed seeing him being pronounced dead, seeing that wound in his chest, it showed me, like, how real life is. Like, it it's only two things for all of us, but it's, like, it's it's locked in my mind that it's either heaven or hell, you know? And I understand that everybody ain't understand Jesus. Jesus ain't pleased everybody.

Like, Jesus came. He he spoke the truth. He said, I'm the truth. I'm the way and the life. And it they trying to throw stones at Jesus.

When Pontius had Jesus, they chose the other dude over him, the dude who was, the the prisoner dude. I forgot his name. But, you know, so just stuff like Barabbas. Yeah. Barabbas.

Yeah. They I was thinking of his name too because I'm writing a song, and I was trying to figure out how I could put him in my song. I forgot his name. Yeah. But, you know, they chose so just seeing Jesus and and and seeing, like, how he's the son of God and seeing, like, how he couldn't even please everybody, how, you know, he was spat on.

He was shamed. He was mocked. And he was just walking in love. It just it it just really helped me. Like, man, they judge off what they see, but God, he judge up off intent.

Yeah. You know? So just seeing all that, it just it just really helped me. Like, my man, all I gotta do is do what I believe God called me to do. Follow my convictions, the holy and what the holy spirit lead me.

Yeah. Yeah. So my my That's cool. Thank you. You know, something I'm really John, I was really impressed by is how you're so straight about your relationship with Jesus.

You're not hiding it. You're just saying it straight. Because I know that can come at a cost because I started back in Amsterdam in in the punk scene. And so, we would say it straight and sometimes people would throw bottles at us and spit on us and, you know, we just because we were taking a strong stand about Jesus. You know, in a cool way, you know, we're, you know, saying he he cares about us, he loves us, but even still people spit on you and throw bottles at you.

So I'm just wondering in the world you're in, what kind of consequences has there been because, you know, you're just like, I'm follower of Jesus, and I'm not ashamed. Have you had any any bad, consequences from that? On online, but not in person. Yeah. Online, people say all type of stuff, and I I don't even feed into the comments no more.

But I've seen, like, I've seen a lot of crazy comments online. But in person, I get a lot of people who, like, just, like, applaud me, show love. They wanna hear my story and just, you know, some break down and cry. You know? It's just I get a lot of that in person.

And, really, I don't even I don't go out much just but to the gym and the studio. But outside, I really not I really don't even talk like that. But if somebody come to me and they say something about my change or say how they send me, then I'll open up a little bit because I don't never wanna miss God. Like, I don't never wanna like, God could be bringing somebody to me or this person, he might need to hear. I'm I might this might be a job for me to, encourage this person, this brother, sister, whoever this person is.

So if somebody come to me and speak about it, then I I try but I even try to use the sermon in situations because there was there was a there was times where some people, they come up to me and then they bring up my old, who I was in the old, and then I bring up Jesus now. And then they, like, look weird and then, like, walk away. I have stuff like that, whereas people come up to me, try to talk about who I used to be, and then I bring up Jesus, and then they okay. They shut out. They completely shut out and just look away and don't like, I had stuff like that, but, like, any type of craziness, all that just been online, like, what are you saying?

I probably my guess is also being a boxer helps with that too. You know, I think You know, they're just thinking this guy could beat the crap out of me, so I'm not gonna say nothing. You know, I think, what also helps too is is, the type of content I put out there before I would say. So people some people, even if they don't believe they even if they see the change, that's that still might Yeah. You know?

Yeah. But, honestly, man, I'm a I believe I'm a cool person. You know? Like, I'm a loving person, and I believe I can get along with anybody. So, you know, I think a lot of the old content that I used to put out there got me have something to do with that too.

But, I mean, like I said before, if if people come up to me and they ask me questions, man, I really try not to miss doing God's work, and I open up. And that's when I started to open up. Well, and there's there's a honest a genuine humility in you, honestly, that's so evident. It's like it's so real. And, like, you can feel it in your interviews.

You can feel it in your desire to serve. And, man, it's not easy being an imperfect person like the rest of us. We're all imperfect. We're all growing. Right.

And yet you're doing it in front of millions of people and people who don't even know you commenting on things you're going through. And, like, if people looked at me that like that, I can't imagine how I would react. So I just again, like, Chad, I wanna encourage you that there's a there's an obvious humility in you that that is gonna make you unstoppable, honestly. I think God's gonna use you because you're obviously a gifted guy, but the fact that you desire to serve the way you are, I just it's not even a question. I just wanna say I really appreciate that in you.

And, Yeah. And then maybe along those lines, like, what what dreams is God putting on your heart for the future, for how for how he wants to use you or the messages he's putting on your on your mind to to share? Do you have anything that that yeah. Any anythings about the future? You know, I do wanna grow my ministry in music.

And and then I I feel like I low key, like, I wouldn't say wanna be a pastor, but, like, just just get in in front of, like, a big crowd. Just motivate people. Because this man, I've been through so much, and it's like that's one that's one reason why I'm not afraid of just being real, being transparent with with because I've been through so much. And the stuff that I've been through, I'm like, man, I wouldn't have been able to overcome this without God. Because I know that it's like it's it's millions of other people who've been in the same similar situation that don't know that who just lost, don't know how to get through it.

And and, you know, I'm like, man, I wanna give that crowd some hope. I wanna let them know that change is possible. Like, I wanna let them know that there's a way out. You know? All we gotta do is just put our faith in Jesus.

You know? So that I do wanna do that like this. I've talked to I've talked to, my old school. I went to a court, and I preached to our kids. So that was cool.

Wow. But, yeah. Besides my ministry and music, I do wanna and then I do wanna do, like, some street some street preaching too. There's this pastor, pastor David Lent. He'd be, he's from Canada, but he'd be in my city.

I reached out to him, like, hey. Anytime you out here preaching, man, hit me up. And I don't even and I I told him, like, I don't even wanna come with you to just preach beside you. I wanna be beside you to learn. Like, I'm trying to learn.

So, then I then I get to, you know, I still wanna do it myself, but I really wanted to walk in the streets with him so I could learn because I like I like what he'd be preaching. I like his mindset. Yeah. But so it's the music. It's the, you know, it will the the motivational the preaching to, arenas and then boxing.

I don't I don't really know how long I do that. Right now, I'm just doing that. Just to stay in shape. It's just the two things that would be the music and then the motive motivational speaking. I just have a a something I've been thinking about.

What do you what do you think the biggest lies are that people believe about Jesus today? You know what I mean? So it's like before you had that encounter, you know, and all of us can tell our stories here. But what was what do you think the biggest lie people believe when you say Jesus to them? What what do you think the biggest lie would be?

You know, I think, when people think of Jesus, people think that when they come to him that they have to change. And, I mean, that's Jesus do change us. You know, when you walk him with God, he do change, but, you know, I I just think people don't really understand when Jesus say come as you are. Like, you could literally come as you are. I'm a get this example.

I was telling my homie that, hey, man. Just lock in with God. Just talk to him. Just speak to him. And he like, well, I wanna stop doing this first.

So I wanna start doing that first. Yeah. I'm like Yeah. I'm like, bro, man, just come, like Come as you are. Come as you are.

Come as you are. Just talk to him. So I I think, like, that's the biggest lot. Like, people think they have to clean up their lives themselves. That's not our job.

Jesus gonna do that. All you gotta do is just follow him. You know? So I I think that's it. Yeah.

That's power, man. One thing from your past was going into a church, trying to pick a fight to to make the, you know, a viral video. How how do you have you come to see the church, and, like, what role does the church play in your life, in this season? So I go to the potter's house. It's the church on Normandy, but, man, the church loved me.

And I love the church because I like worshiping. Like, I like the songs, you know, like, that just the presence just being around just everybody who's worshiping had their hands up. Like, I'm not afraid to lift my hands. I'll be jamming or dancing and everything. But before, I had no I used to have no respect for the church.

And that's one thing that I like to tell people, you know, now that I'm in the faith. I like I tell them, like, hey. I was against pastors. Like, you know, I ran into a church to start in a fight. Like, I didn't believe in all that, but it's like now I understand, like, that's God's house.

That's what his presence is at. Like, I love being around other people who's just a part of the body. So, just like I said, my favorite thing is the is the worship. And, you know, it's just it's always it's always good to hear the word, but my favorite my favorite is to worship. So you would actually, before you you you gave your life to Jesus, you would actually go to churches and try to start fights with people?

Well, I did one time. I did one time. Yeah. It wasn't like it wasn't like your thing. Like, every day, I gotta run into it.

Yeah. I did it once. And did they fight you? Could you find somebody? They kicked me out.

They they they threw me out of church. They threw me out. Yeah. But we didn't we squared up with each other, but we ain't throw no hands. They threw me out.

That reminds me of a guy, you know, he got saved out of a a gang, pretty radical gang, and a guy some some other guys from the gang came up to him and said, so you follow Jesus now? And he goes, yeah, I do. He changed my life. I'm a new person. And then the guy said, so what are you gonna say if I punch you in the face right now?

What are you gonna do? And then he said, well, I'm gonna pray, and I'm gonna ask God to help me to not do anything. But if he doesn't, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you. Oh, yeah. So, like, apparently, the guy didn't have any faith because he didn't hit him.

So that was, it reminded me of that story. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We we didn't we didn't throw no hands, but, yeah, I did I had no respect for the church. I had no respect.

But now, now I respect God's house. And, I I just I just love going into worship. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful.

What's what I I guess, two maybe two final thoughts I had is, like, what's been maybe the most challenging aspect for you in this season, like, staying close to Jesus? Like, what do you find pulls you away from him? You know? Like, what whether distractions or or I don't know, what you know, whatever else. And then just lastly, you know, how how can we best be praying for you?

You know, in this season, I honestly been getting a lot closer to God. I've been getting real close to him. You know, we try to do things in our own strength. When things don't go our way when certain things don't go our way, when, you know, we expect something to hit at a certain time this day, and then, dang, things don't go as planned. You know, we I try to do things a lot of us do try to do things in our own strength to to fix it.

And I'm like, okay. So this didn't go my way. I have to trust that God is sovereign And, you know, and then on the other hand, I have to trust that God wouldn't allow things up allow things in my life that I wasn't strong enough to handle. Yeah. And so, like, I had a a friend, Reese.

She called me, and she's like she's like, John, the song was supposed to drop. You know, the label, they said we can't drop it. How do you feel about that? And then I'm like I was telling her. I'm like, look.

Listen. I'm in the season right now, or I'm like, if things don't go my way, then I just have to trust God that there's a better way. You know? And and God wouldn't allow anything in my life, you know, that I wasn't strong enough to handle or just I have to trust God timing and stuff like that. So in this season right now, I've been getting a lot closer to him because I'm learning, like, to be fully dependent on him, to trust his timing, to trust that he know the beginning to the end.

He know everything in between. And if something don't go my way, then it's not in his will. He got a better way and just to trust his timing. Mhmm. Wow.

How can we be praying for you? I am going to, you could be praying for, my son. I'm in a legal battle. I'm going to court, with me and his mom. I I did go on fifty fifty, but, we agreed to sixty forty.

So Yeah. It's it's cool. Yeah. As long as long as I get to be in his life legally. You know?

Anything that I I try to go through, like, I don't wanna throw his mom under the bus or anything, but, you know, we don't see eye to eye with a lot of stuff. So I chose to go this route to so I could I put my cell phone well, first, she did, and I got a lawyer, then she dropped it. And then I'm like, I'm a continue this because I wanna legally see my son because I have the type of baby mom where she get upset with me when things don't go her way, and she's like, okay. You can't see him. Yeah.

Yeah. David, do you wanna pray? How old is your son? Four. Four.

Wow. Yeah. So and what's his name? Kai. Kai?

Kai. That sounds cool. That's cool. Jesus, thank you for my brother. Thank you for the fact that you are real.

Thank you that you are real. Like John said, you accept us the way we are. Wow, that is so amazing. We're so grateful. And, Lord, I I just pray that everything that you've done in John's life will be a speck of dust compared to what you do in his life in the future.

I pray that you would increase his capacity, that his shoulders, Lord, give him big spiritual shoulders so that he can carry a lot. Lord, there's so much brokenness out there, so many hurting people, and I ask that you'd look at him and be able to use him to bring your love to people that have only heard lies about you. And I pray for his son that he would be able to see him legally, Lord, that that will work out. Lord, I know he's cool with sixty forty, but I pray that it could be fifty fifty, Lord. And I I pray that it would be, not a big deal to get this resolved.

And that, his little boy would wanna follow Jesus like his dad, Lord, and I just pray you'd put your angels around him in his in his mother. But Lord, I just pray that for him and thank you for the that we can trust you and I pray that the most fruitful days are ahead for John. In Jesus name, amen. Amen. Amen.

Yeah. I appreciate that. What you just said, you said, you prayed for my son that he followed Jesus. Man, that's that's one thing that I I've been praying heavy because when I look at my son, I look at him. I'm like, dang.

Man, I have a big responsibility, you know. And when I I'm like, man, God help me raise him. Help me to raise him because I can't, like I know I can't do that in my own strength. And it I don't wanna just give God, like, some of me. I wanna give him all of me, like, my relationships, my finances, my son, like like, any other kids I have.

And I I I really been praying by that heavy. Like, God, help me to to raise him so he could follow you. Help me to raise him up so he could be a godly man. That's one thing that I've been praying. Heavy.

Yeah. The biggest testimony to your son is gonna be when he sees his dad's authentic walk with Jesus. When he looks at you and he goes, my dad follows Jesus and he's cool. Yeah. I've been teaching him my I'll be teaching him how to pray.

I'll be like this. He'd be sent he'd walk in my room like, dad, what you doing? I'm like, I'm praying. He said, I wanna pray. I'll be teaching him to pray.

There's this show Superbook on YouTube. See, I only got two seasons on YouTube, but I'll bring on Amazon Prime. I'll be having him watch, Superbook. Now I'd be on all of that. That's awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. And also what you do when you're when you're teaching them how to pray, then take them out for ice cream afterwards. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? So, like, praying with dad is it's also going out for ice cream. Yeah. Fish out. That's a good thing.

Fish out. That's my dad, actually. So Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

Father son duo. Chad's like Chad's like the nephew we never wanted. I'm just lonely over here, man. I ain't got nothing. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. That's sweet. I can see there was a difference. Yeah.

Yeah. On a lighter subject, Chad, told me when he that, you know, I know you're a boxer, and he told me that he thinks he could beat you up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Easy.

Easy. He wants to take you out. So I'm wondering if you would like me to arrange a boxing match between you and Chad. Because I I would that would be cool. We could film it.

That'd be great. What do you think? We could put it Yeah. We could put it you know, the YouTubers like doing that stuff these days anyway. Get everybody together, train for a couple of months, get in the ring, 10,000 people.

What I wanna know, John, is do you think Chad's giant forehead would be an advantage or a disadvantage in the ring behind? This would be this would be blinding to my opponent. For me, it'd be good. That's a nice target right there. Oh, man.

That'd be amazing. Thank you. I don't wanna take up any more of your time, but, man, thank you for taking a risk. Thank you for saying yes to this. Our audience is gonna be blessed.

We're gonna keep praying for you. I hope we can stay in touch, and we can do more things together. Yeah. But this has been a real, real privilege. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. Anytime I get to step on anybody platform and just share my testimony, and it it it moves me good because I'm like, okay. I'm doing God's work.

You're doing great, man. Yeah. It's it's it's amazing. Thank you so much. Yeah.

It's really great talking to you. Yeah. I appreciate y'all having me. Alright, man. Well, we'll talk to you, and, thanks for joining us.

Thank you for listening to the Provoke and Inspire podcast. If you enjoy this content, consider leaving us a rating and a review on iTunes. Got questions for the guys? Send them to provokeandinspire@steiger.org. Thanks for listening.

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